Make a List

by Melissa Lindersmith
(Las Vegas, NV)

To help getting through the initial stage after leaving I would suggest you make a list.

I have made a list of some of the violence, name calling and controls that were part of my life for 7 years. And then when I start to feel weak, vulnerable or guilty this is a great reminder of how my life used to really look like while still in an abusive relationship ...

I also still have video and audio on my cell phone which is a good reminder of the monster I lived with.

Although, as time has passed it's harder to watch or listen to, because it is no longer something common in my life, it is so far removed from how my life is now. I now look at it and think to myself why did you tolerate that???

So while things are still fresh in your mind, make a list of all those things which made you leave the abusive relationship in the fist place, all those things which made you feel rotten and the horrible, abusive things your partner did. It really helps when those feelings of doubt and guilt creep back into our mind.