Grieve the relationship and then leave...

by Kym
(Belgium)

Hello Nola, please learn to grieve the relationship and then leave ...

As I am sure you know many women who have been controlled by their partner understand your predicament.

Your story reads like my story too. I left my ex over a year ago but I made the mistake of staying in the relationship far longer than he deserved. However, I realise I was actually staying to grieve the relationship. I needed to be sure that when I left I was 100% certain I was doing the right thing (I had a baby and a small child to think of). So I took on board all the sadness, all the hurt, all the anger. I grieved for the relationship I once knew in the beginning. The relationship that made me glow, made me happy, made me love. But that did not last. The relationship turned black, turned into something nasty.

I looked at my son and realised he would look at his father as the man he should be like, and my daughter would think that she should accept abuse from the man she settles with. This is what I as their mother was demonstrating by staying with their father. That was a turning point. So I say to you stay strong, do your grieving and then leave - be free.