Get out for the sake of your children

by DeAnna
(Atlanta, Georgia)

Dear Julie. Please get out for the sake of you and your children. You and children deserve much more than this.

I am Domestic violence survivor and am now working as a DV outreach specialist. So I do know what I am talking about!

I had witnessed my mother getting stabbed by her ex and she finally had enough. If she didn't leave, she would be killed and left me behind. I thought to myself that I wouldn't be in her situation but was I wrong?

I ended up being in a 4 years long relationship starting from 8th grade till junior, then broke it off, then got back again for another year. He was sweet and kind at first but later on became possessive. He was with me 24/7 and even hung out with me and my girlfriends. When I was in 10th grade, he asked me to marry him on our year or 2 years anniversary. At first I thought it was cute despite friends' warning that it was not healthy. I ignored them because I thought they're just jealous.

As time goes on, he became enraged if I simply looked or talk to other guys and that's when I realized that it's not right. I slowly withdrew from him out of fear that he will resort to physical abuse. I informed him that I would like a break from him so I can focus on things. He didn't like it at first but he suspected that I did it for another guy who didn't even exist. But he granted my wish and next thing I know, I put it off at getting back with him.

But later on I finally gave in - but my love for him is not there any more. I told him I want to break up with him for good and boy was he angry.

He was still harassing me and contacting me for a while until he stopped. Through the rumor I heard that he ended up resorting to physical abuses towards his exes. I thought to myself, it could have been me.

So please plan carefully and seek help from DV shelters or counseling or reach out to your family or friends somehow.

I would love to help you wherever you are and connect you to the resource in your area. Please leave for the sake of your children and don't let their future relationship be clouded by this.

You all are worthy of being loved!

I will pray for you all. You can contact me at dswope(at)gachi.org. :)