Domestic Violence Threats

Domestic violence threats are threats made within the context of an abusive relationship and domestic abuse.

Where the threats are made within the context of a physically violent relationship, they can be as as debilitating as the violence itself.

Even where the victim has not been physically assaulted, the abuser will often demonstrate their ability to harm by punching walls or furniture, kicking the cat/dog, or using aggressive behaviour.

Threats of physical violence are particularly effective where they are occasionally followed up with or reinforced by actual physical abuse. A victim who has already suffered being battered need not imagine the result of displeasing the abuser, or doubt the abuser's ability to carry out the domestic violence threats. Carla remembers well the way in which her step-father would control her mother:

However, many threats are not physical but part of the ongoing emotional abuse. The abuser may threaten to 'disappear' with the children, report you to Social Services as an unfit parent or 'have you locked up in an asylum", harm a significant third party (e.g. family member), refuse housekeeping, leave or commit suicide. Sometime the threat of harm to the children is implied rather than specifically spelled out. The effect is the same.

The threat to disappear with the children, kidnap them or allow some harm to come to them, is enough to keep mothers in an abusive relationship and tolerate the most horrific abuse themselves purely to protect the children.

The emotional domestic violence threats are also very disturbing and upsetting for the victim of abuse, as they never know how far the abuser will actually put these threats into action, and the reality of the situation is that the victim - despite the abuse they have suffered - usually still cares for the perpetrator of that abuse. For a victim who has already had to witness her partner self-harming, the threat of his further harming himself is a very great concern.

Whether the threats are of a physical, sexual or emotional nature, they are all designed to further control the victim by instilling fear and ensuring compliance. This fear need not necessarily be for the victim's own safety but could equally be for the safety of other women.

The abuser becomes not only the source of pain and abuse, but also the protector, as he/she is not only the person being abusive, but also the person who can prevent the threatened action, increasing the victim's dependence.

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