Danna's Physical Abuse Story

In this physical abuse story, Danna recounts some of the horrific sexual abuse and emotional abuse she had to endure and reflects deeply on her own feelings at the time. This is her story:

Blissful is only how I can describe the first 3 years of my relationship with evil. I was 15 and met the guy of my dreams or so I thought, after the three years something just went terribly wrong.

Never knowing what I done, when it was going to happen or why it was even happening to me. Always kept me wondering why I was going through the pain and if it was ever going to stop. As a young female I understand now how it feels to be trapped literally and mentally by an abusive man. In some respects I am glad it happened when I was young so I have the rest of my life to conquer all the hurdles that are thrown at me.

I am a much stronger woman now and I think I have come out of my abuse using all the hurt and pain in a positive way, wanting to help other souls in need of a shoulder to cry on.

I moved in with him after four years not really knowing now why I done so. I shan't punish myself for making that mistake. People always say 'why did you stay' ... all I can honestly answer to that question is because when you love someone with all your might and power then you try to put your whole heart and soul into making it work between you, hoping you will come out the end together strong and happy. In my case no, it didn't work, but I am thankful I am out and no longer suffering at the hands of my abuser.

In most cases people say it started in a regular pattern, not with me. I would be sitting on the sofa and for no reason be smashed across the face from nowhere, no reason, no answers, just left to deal with my tears. The most common time would be after he finished work. He would have a bad day and me the one who done nothing wrong would get the abuse. He would start with sarcastic comments, silly little name calling and belittling me, telling me no other person loved me or liked me, telling me my family and which friends I had left all didn't like me. I had no self confidence and still struggle to have any, but I am slowly getting there. When someone tells you you are ugly or stupid every day of your life it is hard to find that you are no other than that.

He would choke me, punch me, kick me, slap me, I was even burned, slashed and stapled in my five years of abuse. There is no excuse for these terrible things which happened to me and I have no answer and never will have an answer for why they were done, but I am going to help anyone I can in this situation to get the help I never had. He would strangle me to the point I was close to death - my lips would be blue and my eyes blood shot from trying to breathe. In the end I didn't struggle I just prayed it would work and I wouldn't wake back up to another day or minute of abuse.

For many days I would be constantly abused, forced to perform sexual acts and look as though I was enjoying it before being returned to the spare room which I thought of as my prison cell.

I would be locked in it for days and the hardest part is that there wasn't even a lock on the door, I was so afraid to leave the room I may as well have been locked in it, only leaving to ask permission to go to the toilet.

Being abused makes you numb. There is no feeling. I had my stomach and leg stapled for answering back for no reason, for only defending myself, which wasn't really that often. I was forced to eat things I didn't even like, made to vomit from beatings which hurt with excruciating pain and told to shut up and clean it up - no remorse, no guilt, nothing. He would take me in the car against my will and drive me to dark roads miles away from my home and drag me out the car leaving me there in fear, no idea where I was and made to walk back home, hoping he wouldn't return to run me down as he promised he would.

I left my abusive partner last August and I haven't looked back, only to wonder why I put up with it for so long. At one point in my life I tried to take my life and I think from that moment on I was a lost soul and knew I had to get out before I was killed. I don't know what gave me strength I just know sexual, physical and mental abuse pushed me almost to my grave. But my hope that I was one day out helped me to my new life now and I now know that it doesn't have to be a way of life anymore. People say that it's easy to leave but I know it isn't first hand, and many one this site also know that and understand how hard it is to get out. I packed my bag in twenty minutes on the 14th of August 2008 and I'll never forget how empowered I felt walking through that door and never looking back. He went to work with a smirk on his face and he is being punished for his sins now and shall be for all of eternity. To this day yes, I am still haunted with my experience and I am sure with all the support and help from my loved ones I will eventually be even more stronger. I just take every day as it comes knowing I am safe loved and happy.

I wrote for this site because I know when I suffered I read peoples' success stories hoping one day I'd be on the other end writing mine. Please to all who have and are suffering don't give up, have strength and remember you are a human, the most amazing creature created which is living.

Have strength.