Children Witnessing Abuse: Daisy's Story

Daisy and her siblings were children witnessing abuse on their mother by their step-father. An effect of children witnessing domestic abuse was that her brother then commited further sexually inappropriate behaviour towards both his sisters, including Daisy. This is her story:

I was about 8 years old when it all started to happen. My mom married a guy named Harry. She thought he was a nice fellow, I guess. Eventually he became abusive to her. Me, my sister, and brother would witness it. They would always fight and we hated it. I remember thinking while walking home from school that I wished they wouldn't be home because they were most likely fighting. I remember watching him beat her. He would punch her and she would fall. He would slap her or call her names. He would always push her around.

Every trip we went on turned out to be crap because he would always start problems and we weren't very happy. The thing I remember the most is one night watching them fight while I was standing in the bathroom and they were in the hall. I don't exactly remember what they were fighting about, but I saw him punch her and she fell to the ground. When she was on the ground he kept punching her about 5 times and then he left. I didn't know where he went, but I do remember my brother calling the cops and them not even doing anything about it.

When I turned 10, my brother started sexually abusing me. He manipulated me into thinking that it was okay, that every brother and sister do that. I was young and stupid and I didn't know. It took me 6 years to tell my mom that he did that. Actually, he did it to me and my sister. We told our mom when we decided to run away. We left a note that explained everything and we were gone for 3 days.

Eventually she found us at a homeless shelter. When we got home we talked about what had happened and we got the cops involved. My brother went to jail for a little while, but not long. He hasn't done it ever since then and I'm glad.

I read these types of stories a lot and they all eventually work out well if you tell someone. The hurt and pain goes away and it gets better.

Now I have a 6 month old little brother that I treat as my own and I love him very much. I'm thankful for everything that has happened because it has made me a stronger person.

~ Daisy

When Dad Hurts Mom. This is a must-read for any woman with children still in or finally out of an abusive marriage. He covers the myriad of ways in which children witnessing domestic violence are affected, the prejudice in the legal establishments and the patriartic world has made the life of female and child victims of abuse difficult. And then he gives you tips on how to conquer this situation and help heal our kids from the trauma of witnessing abuse:

To order in the US: When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse

To order in the UK: When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse

Return from Daisy: Children Witnessing Abuse to Domestic Violence Stories