Been there

by Anon

Obfuscation

When it is time to budget, pay a bill etc., he creates a situation that devastatingly puts the other down, so they no longer remember the bill etc., just the pain inflicted and then he says he doesn't give money to someone who is such an arsehole or bitch. Or that you are just always being mean eg the the fighting that had just been going on was due to others meanness not his fogging the situation. I have seen this done to a male flatmate who needed the due rent money. Done to myself when we just had to talk about which bills to pay first with what incoming money we had that week.

After divorce

Financial siege

When we married he bought the house but would not let me be on deed as he said I had all legal rights as wife. I contributed financially all the way through. And then after divorce said that he wouldn't give me money from sale of house because he couldn't bear to let my new partner have any of it. Therefore I couldn't get on with life. I had to battle for 7 years to get some of this money.

Psychological battering

Used a mental health plan/children/workplace bullying/wouldn't work, all as excuses to not sell house for 7 years.

Destroys your reputation

Lies about what you are doing. I hadn't even asked for 50% of the estate in recognition that he worked many more hours than me, and had told him to keep all of his Super. He then kept most of my 40% share of house, putting it into his Superannuation. When I employed a lawyer and eventually got some of the money, he told people I took his Super. Very clever, as it was my money he had put into his super fund, and yet he could accurately say he had to go to his Super fund to pay me more money years later, and that I wouldn't be happy until I danced on his grave.